Mother's Day Revisited

me and mom2.jpg

(Me and Mom - Crocker Park - 4th of July, 2010-ish)

Dear Mom,

I imagine I’ve penned or purchased about 55 Mother’s Day cards for you in my almost-60-year-old life, and each time, I’ve struggled to find the right words... words that even remotely capture my feelings for you.  

Truth be told, there were a lot of years I didn’t have much to say from my heart, so I let Hallmark do it for me... not because the love wasn’t there, but because I was focused on other things (mostly me) and “thank you” and “I love you” seemed a little over-done. 

But, that was then and this is now.

May 5th marked the beginning of our ninth year as neighbors, the last five of which have evolved into a kind of unplanned state of caretaking perfection. The sequence of events that transpired resulting in our current arrangement are improbable; Pop's unforseen death… a plumbing failure and subsequent remodel of the first-floor apartment at 17 Darling… a second plumbing failure and repair at 21 Darling… the one-day sale of my old house… and then the same-day purchase of 21 Darling... The stars were aligned and the Universe was clearly on board. We were destined to be co-dependent for life.  

Opportunities for personal growth abound in our present living arrangement where I’ve learned a thing or two about being a mother, as well as a daughter. Some lessons are learned in the moment, while others take time to evolve and gel.

I often begin a 50 Shades Mom-post by describing something that happens to or with you in our life together. By the end of the piece, a deeper meaning has emerged;  an aha highlighting feelings I didn't even know I had pops up, and a piece of wisdom magically ensues.  

More than just a muse or source of inspiration Mom, you've been an amazing sport and supporter… always willing to listen, and never afraid to take a little hit on the chin before the happy-spot in a story about you shines through. Some of the more important lessons I’ve learned from our time together (and the posts that prompted the education):  

·       Family traditions matter. Pass them on. (It’s All About the Eggs

·       Family history matters. Pass it down. (The Perfect Gift

·       Great independence can be found in  “dependency”. (Pathological Independence)  

·       Humor and kindness are always best. (Family Fun at the Funeral Home)  

·       Not all feelings have to be shared. (Four Missing Pages)   

·       Learn by walking in others’ shoes. (Who Am I and Where’s My Hat?

·       Stay busy to stay out of jail. (A Little Walk to $500,000

·       Everyone’s entitled to their own family memories. (Our Mothers, Ourselves)   

·       Kindness is the key to aging gracefully. (Her Character is Clear)  

·       There’s no rushing God and the Universe. (The Road to Limbo

·       There’s always room for an attitude adjustment. (I’m Just Not Mary

·       Sharing is caring. (Carpools and Playdates)   

·       Fear of fear subsides with age. (Funny or... Not?!

·       Take time to appreciate the simple things. (Best in the Box

·       Look for the hidden gifts found in caring for others. (Defacto

·       Different people value different things, and that’s ok. (A Purse Problem

·       Focus on our similarities, not our differences. (The Sound of Music (Again...)  

·       Be nicer. (Actual, Better, Best

·       Respect, protect and project family history. (Who Will Preserve the Pieces?)

So now Mom, I get to say thank you, right from the bottom of my heart... Thank you for all of this and so much more. It's an honor and a privilege to be your daughter and your friend. Happy Mother's Day Mom... I love you.

Emily 

Emily GaffneyComment